And for every person who marvels that “no way, that can’t be you!” you’re going to start to realize that the round-cheeked kid in the photo was and yet isn’t you all at once. They’ll even come to request seeing it, as if it’s some sort of magic trick. And they’ll marvel and ooh and ahh over it, as if fat-you was an apparition or even a rare sighting of Bigfoot. Like your own personal sideshow project, it’s something that will throw people for a loop it’s practically a surefire way to win #tbt. You take a perverse and sad pleasure in showing people your former fat kid photo. They’re going to let you in on some pretty awful gossiping sessions, and it’ll stick out, not only because you know how the object of their ridicule must feel but also because you’ll be left wondering if those people would have said the same thing about you. You can’t erase your past or anything you experienced as a fat kid, and people who didn’t know you “way back when” often don’t (and can’t be expected to) know that you used to be heavier than you are now. Fat-bashing people will assume you’ve always been thin, so you’ll overhear some hurtful things that you otherwise wouldn’t have before. “We accept the love we think we deserve,” might seem like a trite aphorism, but Chbosky’s words are so pervasive in part because they’re… true. People won’t be nicer to you just because you lost weight, but they will when you decide exactly what kind of treatment you deserve, and start giving that to yourself. I’ve seen it time and time again: people are always friendliest toward and most attracted to the person who holds themselves well - who has the most self-respect and is kind to themselves (and you can be kind to yourself at any size or weight.) Often, we forget that most people - weight aside- are NOT kind to themselves and thus don’t ATTRACT kindness.
… And a lot of that also stems from how kind you are to yourself. I’ve heard tons of stories from friends (both former fat kids, and still overweight individuals) who note some pretty harrowing experiences from people who don’t realize that just because someone is heavier than you deem “acceptable” doesn’t mean they don’t deserve respect, too. People tend to defer to you and give you that much more respect when you fit in with what they deem to be aesthetically agreeable. People are generally kinder to thinner people.Īnd not even just kinder: they’re more accommodating, friendlier and flirtier.
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